Ten years ago as I walked through the streets of Manhattan, in frustration, I asked the Lord: ‘Why are you taking me this way?’
I wasn’t talking about the fact that I was passing the corner by Barnes and Nobles next to some huge potted plants. It was the emotional journey that had already felt long and tedious.
The answer came back quickly and gently: ‘I want you to trust Me’
It wasn’t like a friend trying to convince you of a shady plan. It was a matter of fact response that in hindsight can be stated differently: ‘I’m going to teach you how to trust Me’. ‘I want you to learn that I can be trusted’.
Over the following years I had asked this question too many times to count: ‘God, why am I here?’
I stopped asking a few years ago, but yesterday, I sensed a response. This time, it wasn’t audible. It was a settled knowing.
The sense that I know get. ‘I’m going to teach you that I am trustworthy so that you can encourage others in their hard seasons.’
The scope of who I’ve been able to encourage has been unreal. I work in financial services as a financial advisor, and when I got the call to leave corporate, I specifically asked that it would not be for ministry.
But, in hindsight, ministry looks very different than I could even have begun to imagine. I still get to do my financial planning work with clients, but, I’m able to speak to much more than their money. I recently had one client jokingly tell me that she would be willing to pay me just for the faith conversations. Of course this made me smile.
God knew that many years down the road, clients and friends would need an encouraging word, and because He had shown me He could be trusted, I would be able to help others recognize His trustworthiness.
So, the next time you are asking God: ‘why am I still here?’ Be willing to do what He tells you. Ask Him to show you what He’s teaching you. I can’t promise you a quick response, but I can promise you it will be worth it.
Romans 5:3-5 states ‘Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.’
Dear Heavenly Father, sometimes the ways you choose to take us is hard, but, please allow us not to give up too soon on the work that you are doing as you are molding us for use in your kingdom. Thank you that while the journey may be difficult, you are producing fruit that is everlasting.