I think you already know how I feel about sharing stories that are truly personal and feel private to me. I don’t like it. Not one bit. But I think someone needs to hear this.
I went out to celebrate with my girlfriend this weekend and we took lots of pictures. On the way home, I contemplated, ‘who is that person in the picture with such a bright smile enjoying life?’ It was me. I felt beautiful, and happy. Then I think back to another time in my life. It was a very unhappy one.
I remember I took a selfie, which I kept for some reason, because I needed it to remind me of the time period in my life. It was not an attractive picture. I looked sad, and my sadness spilled out of the picture. Throughout that time period I felt unloved. There were lots of people who loved me, but the person I needed to hear it most from, was not telling me. My love language is ‘words of affirmation’ and I wasn’t being affirmed in any way.
I did not stop going to church during that time period either, but it was just a ‘going through the motions thing’. I went because it was expected of me, and it was routine, not because I had this amazing relationship with God. It was routine.
Not many people knew me well enough to know what I was going through, and as I was so private, I was not talking to anyone. I was keeping everything bottled inside. Thankfully, there were a few who did and realized the joy that I once had was missing from my life. Instead of interrogating me as to what was going on, they quietly prayed for me. I believe it’s the prayers of those who have brought me to where I am today.
If you are feeling unloved and hurt and don’t know what to do, go speak with a trusted person. Ask for prayer requests, cry out to Jesus. He hears and He does answer prayers.
I thank those who were there for me, just by being there when I didn’t have words to express my emotions and how unattractive and unloved I felt.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the people (friends and families) that you place in our lives to help us to get through difficult times. Help us to recognize that we are going through those times and seek help, along with guidance.
