I think you guys know by now that I don’t like sharing the intimate details of what happens to me. I believe it opens me up to being judged. But now I’m also realizing that it opens me up to being loved on and cared for by others. Sometimes we need to show our vulnerabilities so that we can get help – and that way we can become stronger.
I have a lot going on in my life. Like, a lot of new and exciting things. But sometimes with new and exciting, it cause fear and anxiety. So for someone who’s never had to deal with anxiety, it’s decided to rear its ugly head. The way my anxiety has shown up is in my driving. Of all the things it’s chosen to do, is to slow me down. But.. ‘ain’t nobody got time for that’.. so, I have to make an extra effort to get in the car – because it’s an irrational fear that tells me that I’m not comfortable driving on some roads.
I’ve also discovered that the only way I can get over this fear is to actually be on the road. But I’ve also discovered that it’s ok to take it slow. So yesterday when I didn’t think I could make it to somewhere I needed to go, I explained the situation. The person I was to meet made me an incredible offer – she would come to me. When she came over and she did what she needed to do, we had a good old adult play date. We sat and talked about real life things. That was a beautiful and unexpected blessing.
I also had someplace else to go. In a conversation with my other friend, she offered to come and take me where I needed to go, and both us and our kids were able to enjoy an extended amount of time together as we did swimming and ran needed errands.
You see, I could choose to look at the things that I wasn’t doing at the pace I wanted to do them – or I could look and see the blessings that were being given to me. I had the blessings of friendships for both me and my daughter. I had been saying I needed to spend more time with my friends – and in these two situations, I was able to do just that. My lack of driving became a blessing in disguise.
Side note… if you are experiencing any type of anxiety or depression for extended amounts of time, I highly recommend seeking help. The more I’ve shared with others, the more I’ve received resources to help me with what I’m going through. My course of action might be different than yours, but I’m currently doing things to reduce my stress levels. I’m exercising, being more aware of eating habits, meditating, prayer and I haven’t stopped driving. I force myself to go driving, no matter what my brain tells me. Your course of action will be different, but a professional might be able to help. I met someone recently who guided me to NYC WELL.
The website is nycwell.cityofnewyork.us
The telephone is 1 888 nyc well
Or text ‘well’ to 65173
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for resources and for friendships. I pray for those who are struggling with anxiety and depression and not knowing how to cope with what they are going through or who to speak with. Father, I pray that you will bring something or someone to mind that will provide hope or a resource that will help us as we are going through difficult times.