I know I’ve talked about this particular topic a few times over the years, however, there seems to be continued lessons from it.
As some of you may know, a few years ago, I was diagnosed with a vision issue called binocular visual dysfunction, BVD, for short. Part of my particular issue is that the way my eyes see and gives the message to my brain is somehow misaligned. Most people, including myself, never realize the complexity of the way our eyes and brain process things.
As I dealt with this issue and ultimately found help. It came in the form of a very detailed eye exam and prescription glasses to correct the issue. Because of the process, if my glasses are even a little bit off, it will still completely throw my sense of perception off. Unfortunately, that was what happened with my last pair of glasses and while I had an underlying sense of anxiety I still did not attribute it to my glasses until the very end when I needed a new pair.
Fast forward to a new exam, and updated prescription, and my sense of ease returning, however, some behavioral issues have begun to stick over the years.
There’s one stretch of road not too far for me, that holds significant meaning. Significant because many years ago as I drove that stretch, I asked the Lord a very particular question. The very next year the prayer was answered, however very shortly after that because of my visual issues that stretch also became a major source of anxiety.
I’ve recently decided that I’m tired of allowing fear of driving to control the places I go. So, two mornings this week before work, I took myself to the beach just to sit and be quiet. The first day that I had driven that path for the first time by myself in over seven years, I stood on the beach and came to this conclusion: my brain has been lying to me.
You see, my brain has been telling me that I would not be able to drive it without being overly anxious or wanting to pull off the road.
A few days after that with a car full of teenagers, I decided it was time to reclaim the stretch of road near me. If you can believe it, it’s only a 2 to 3 minute drive, but my brain had convinced me that I would sense such a deep fear that I would not be able to drive it completely – and, there’s no where to pull over. When I got to the end, I realized there was nothing to fear.
On the way back, I made sure to tell the girls that I tend to avoid it. And as I got to the area where I was about to turn off so I would not have to drive it, waiting in line for the light to change at the exit, the girls insisted that I needed to make that drive. I waited until all the traffic passed and then I decided to tackle it. When I got to the familiar points in the road, I exhaled the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding.
Friends, our bodies are incredibly complex. Our brains are wired to keep us safe and to protect us. However, sometimes our brains will tell us stories in an attempt to protect us and we have to challenge the stories that we are hearing. Is it true? Or is it just keeping us in a stuck cycle, that until we make a conscious decision to let go of the fear that we will never move past it?
I can only tell you one thing, I am so tired of letting fear win in my life. How about you?
Sometimes you will need to tackle your fears head on by yourself and sometimes you will need to tackle it while holding somebody else’s hand until you get brave enough to do it by yourself.
The Bible reminds us that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a sound mind.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you. Thank you for the joy of being able to reexperience the things that I love. Father thank you for professionals and technology that solves for things we can’t even imagine. Would you help us to conquer whatever fears we are dealing with, and whether it’s time to do it solo or holding on to someone else’s hand?