Even after more than 10 years of writing, there are still times I tell God, “I don’t want to do that” or “I don’t wanna talk about that”.
Today’s topic is one of those days. I’d much rather talk about all the positive lessons, but if you’re familiar with my early writing journey, one of my biggest hesitations around writing is because I did not want to be judged for my innermost thoughts.
I have been invited to both preach and present a financial workshop to another church. As I sat in my own church services this week, I started thinking ‘I don’t preach like a preacher’. I don’t feel like I’m qualified to preach. Even questioning if it’s too late to cancel, although I know I won’t.
As I was having these thoughts, my friend texted me something, and I had to chuckle at the timing and then I explained what my thoughts were. She reminded me that it was the Holy Spirit that would give the message. She would have had no idea what thoughts I were having when her message came in. It was both a gentle and sobering reminder.
Later in the day, I had just finished speaking with my mom, and I saw her calling me again. As I picked up to see what was going on, she told me she forgot to tell me the sweetest story. As I listened, she’d been invited to a lunch and the short version is one of the guests wanted to end the lunch with a reading. The person did not know that my mom was gonna be at the lunch, but she had grabbed my book early in the morning and read a blog post that was written 10 years ago, almost to the date.
When I started writing, I could not have begun to imagine that these are some of the things that would have become outcomes of my small obedience.
As I read my devotion this morning, a paragraph spoke clearly to my heart.
It says: “Many of us desire God’s promises, but we often overlook the humble beginnings that come from them. We pray for greater influence, greater opportunities, and greater impact, yet God frequently begins his work in the ordinary and unnoticed places of life.”
The rephrase of Zachariah 4:10 says ‘do not despise humble beginnings’.
I can tell you that I’m still in the humble beginning space, and yet God has done so much more than I could think or imagine.
The funny part about the story is that blog post was about me, telling God, no. See what I mean that something just never change? I’ve just learned to do them quicker even after my initial ‘no’
What is He asking you to do that you feel inadequate for? Even 10 years later, I still feel inadequate, however, God sends sweet reminders that this never was about whether I felt adequate or not, but my obedience and to trust Him to do the work that I could not do.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you that you’re not phased that it takes us so long to learn these lessons. Thank you for allowing the small and humble beginnings so that we may learn how to handle the bigger responsibilities. Thank you that the work is not wholly dependent on us, but on your Holy Spirit as we are willing and obedient.