This topic just seems to keep popping up for me.
My daughter and I got in really late last night (by our standards). She was cranky and didn’t have the attention or focus to complete her homework. While doing it tonight would be perfectly acceptable by all the adults involved, she was having none of it. The homework must be done and turned it the following day, so I promised her that I would wake her up early to get it done. As I’ve shared before, I try to keep my promises. So, when she woke up, I allowed her to do her homework. This is not a fun exercise for me as I have a routine in the morning to get us out of the house, and it does not include homework. As she is writing her spelling words 3 times, and has 3 words left, but doing more talking than writing (my daughter is a talker), I told her she needed to stop talking and keep writing, as she had to write 9 things. As my daughter is my child, a skeptic to the core, she told me no, but proceeded to count anyway. Lo and behold, she came up with 9 blank spaces that needed to be filled in. And she proclaimed how right I was.
As usual, this got my thoughts going. How many times does God tell us something, but because we are ‘smart’ we tell Him no, that’s not the way it should be done? Oy! I prefer not to count, because all I can do is hold my head down in embarrassment and shame. There have been so many times in my life that God is telling me how to do something, but because I think I know better, I proceed to do something completely different because I think it will yield the result that I want, quicker. Patience is not my friend. Actually, I’m not sure if it has ever been, but through my experiences, God is teaching me that it doesn’t need to be my friend, but it is a necessary quality that He wants me to have. It is one of the fruit of the spirits that I was seriously lacking (and proud of it – I’m a New Yorker to the core), but God has reminded me that He’s not trying to have this earth be my final home. He’s fitting me for something quite different.
I’m learning that in everything that I do, I must submit my will to His. One of my difficult tasks, I’m used to being in control. But at the same time, I’m realizing how refreshing it is to not have to rely on me or my abilities, as they will not get me very far. God has asked me to trust Him with every single part of my life. Another difficult challenge. But when I look back, I see where just by trusting and listening to the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit, where windows and doors have been opened.
Dear Heavenly Father, help me not to trust in my own abilities, but to trust you and to consult with you in everything that I do. Lord, let Proverbs 3:5-6 always be on my lips. Learning to trust you and not to lean unto my own understanding, but to acknowledge you in everything I do, knowing that you will make my paths straight. Not necessarily easier, but straight and you will walk the path with me.