This thought has been on my mind for a while now. I even had a title set aside. This story extends all the way back to when I was about 21. I worked in a local pharmacy as a cashier, and I had just started becoming Adventist, but I was new and had a job that I worked Saturday afternoons after church. I remember my pay check had been $100 that week, which I had received the day before. While I was at church, the thought came to me that I should be returning $10 for my tithe. ‘But God, you know there isn’t enough money here to cover all my bills’, I argued. So I didn’t. I went to work that afternoon, I still remember the dress I was wearing. It was this long brown dress, no pockets. As I was working the register, this lady made some purchases, which I rang up, and gave her total. When I did, she counted out her monies, said she didn’t have enough and needed to go out to her car to get the difference. She dropped the money on the counter. I didn’t even bother to touch it because there was no one waiting behind her. She came back in a few minutes later, with supposedly the difference. She just handed me what was on the counter and the new monies she brought it. When I finally counted the money, I told her it was still off by $10. This lady vehemently accused me of stealing her $10. I literally stood there and wept because I’d never been accused of theft before.. And definitely not for $10. Thankfully, my employers knew me and my character and didn’t believe for a second that I had taken it.
I realized that this wasn’t about this particular woman. I had stolen from God. $10 to be exact. You think I would have learned my lesson from this experience. From time to time, when I get overwhelmed with bills and didn’t seem to have enough, I try to hold back God’s portion. Let me tell you: that doesn’t work. On the occasions that I have, something major happened with my car that needed major money to fix. There would always be some unexpected expense that would cost me more than I was trying to hold back.
Conversely the opposite is true. I had two recent events that left me shaking my head at God’s thoughtfulness and sense of humor. Someone I knew was going through a difficult time and I was impressed that I should help out, even in a small way. I said, ‘but God, you know I’m going to need a lot of money myself in the very near future’. The thought did not go away, the whole week. I decided to be obedient. When I did, I got two very pleasant surprises. The appreciation with which the person received the gift, and a few days later, as I was shredding documents to move, I found a check dated 2 1/2 years earlier for more than twice the amount. I called the company and they issued a new check.
The second one is what has finally prompted this thought.
As I was told that I should be starting a blog, I stepped out in faith and did it. There were expenses associated with it that while not over the top, was just one more thing that I did not need to pay for. But I had been told in no uncertain terms that this was what I should be doing. Somehow I knew that God would figure out a way, and i was looking forward to seeing how that would happen. My blog was started on June 14th. A week later, I received a letter from American Express, dated for June 14th, that they apologized for some system issue that they had not been able to give my rewards cash. When I checked my account, it had been updated to reflect about 30% of the blog cost. Ok. That was cool. I’d even forgotten about the other 70% until I came home yesterday, and received a check from my doctor’s office for almost the remaining 70%, claiming I had made an overpayment. That appointment and payment had been on March 7th, a full 3 1/2 months prior. Yup, God is funny.
I say all of this to say. When we trust God, we can’t just trust Him with some parts of us. I’m being reminded that He wants it all. Including our financial situations. If we have our hands so closed trying to keep everything in, there is also no room to receive in a closed hand.
Lord, help me to give it all to you, and to trust you, knowing that you are willing and able to provide for all my needs with whatever is remaining after I give you yours first.