I was talking to my friend a few days ago, and the conversation came up regarding where I’ve failed before. I started listing some of the big tests that I’ve failed at in life. Wow!.. I’ve really failed quite a bit, and I was only talking about tests! I could give you a list – but I won’t bore you. Just know that I’ve failed many times, and some of them were for things that I consider important. The thing is – even in those failures, even though sometimes I wanted to give in to my failure and not have a redo, I pressed on.
In one of the last tests I took, and failed (not so long ago), I seriously considered giving up. It wasn’t a requirement for my profession, just an advancement for my own personal goals. At the time, I was telling one of my younger nieces that there was no way I was going to do it over. I was a wife, and had a full time career, among other responsibilities and just did not want to study any more – as far as I was concerned, I was done with school and studying. But she encouraged me to try just one more time and reminded me just how much she looked up to me. Ugh.. Fine – I’ll do it – but this is the last time. After some more months of renewed dedication, and studying, I took the dreaded test – one more time. Thankfully I passed. I think this one was a little different for me because while most of my other tests were taken earlier in my career, this one was as I was getting older, and I just did not want to bother, after all, I had other priorities.
As I look back at my life, I know that I am not defined by my failures and choices that I’ve made. Thank God for that. I’ve definitely made some questionable choices, and sadly because I am human, have the potential for many more. But I know that God does not see me through the eyes of my failures. He sees me through His eyes of love and how much he loves me that He willingly sent His son to die for me, knowing that there were times (many times) that I was going to mess up.
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you that you love me enough to not view me as a failure, even when I have failed to live up to the life that you have set before me. I thank you for never giving up on me and for not throwing in the towel, even when I might have wanted to throw in the towel myself. Help me to see myself through your eyes – a success story because of you.