I’ve not quite been ready to write about this.. but alas.. I guess it’s time.
I’m sharing in the hopes that it may help someone out there struggling with something similar.
If you read my posts, you know that I’ve shared about my driving anxiety. That started two years ago – almost to the date. I was under a lot of work related stress, and it might have been a point of trigger. But, that was two years ago, and my life is not overly stressful, but, my driving anxiety had remained, and may even have been getting worse.
In February, I got the sense that I needed to fast. I really like eating, so I wasn’t ready to do that either, but through a series of occurrence, I decided I needed to pray and fast for clarity to figure out what was causing my anxiety. There were times that I would be sitting working at my computer and have a sense of anxiety.
Again, this did not make sense. I decided to embark on the Daniel Fast – no processed foods or meats. Just wholesome foods. I usually struggle through my 10 days, but decided I was going to do 21 days this time. I really needed answers. At the time I made my decision, there was a distinct “it’s going to get worse before it get’s better”… Great.. Not..
On day 12, my daughter was scheduled to get her hair done, around 40 minutes from my home. I’ve been taking her for more than eight months, and I have not been able to drive by myself, so my mom is always with me. Normally, I drive and have her in the passenger seat. As soon as I got in the car, I felt off. Less than 10 minutes into the drive, I had to pull over and ask her to drive. I didn’t even try on the way back as I knew I would not have been able to. My situation just got worse.
Upon walking in the house that night, I started googling again. The first thing I found was a product to calm anxiety and something I already used. I kept searching. I stumbled across a website that discussed Binocular Vision Dysfunction (BVD). My heart palpitated – everything I was reading was describing my exact symptoms.
There are only a few places in the country that specialize in this – and a center was 20 minutes away from my home. I heard of people coming from other states and countries to be treated, and it was right here in my backyard. I was even too excited to sleep.
I called first thing Monday morning and was asked if I could make it the following morning as they had just had a cancellation. I moved everything so I could go. I now have specialized prism glasses to help to align the way my eyes see. But as this is something I have dealt with for two years, I will have to work at becoming comfortable driving again, while also giving my eyes time to adjust to the new lenses.
Why am I sharing this?
Sometimes you have to go deeper. Fasting and praying for what you are asking God to do. Then take practical steps to resolve what He reveals to you.
Someone out there is dealing with something that they cannot explain. Keep seeking medical guidance. I have prayed often about this – but I also have to take practical steps. Many of the stories I read about, people had exhausted many types of doctors to come to this conclusion. I had seen my regular eye doctor, and I was told I have 20/20 due to my LASIK procedure (shared in a previous post), but even with 20/20 my eyes were misaligned, so that I still wasn’t seeing the way I needed to.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you that we can seek you for answers. Thank you that you have ways of answering questions that are beyond our comprehension. Father, help us to take the practical steps we need, after you have answered our questions.
