There are some lessons that while you hear the message, you don’t get the full understanding until much later. This is exactly what I’m finding out with a passage of scripture I heard repeated at every baby blessing for about 6 years. I didn’t become a parent until much later, but those have been words that I have not been able to forget. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 states, ‘these commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.’
There’s a relatively new song out there, ‘Dear younger me’. I love the lyrics and the meaning behind the song. It’s about a guy who’s been through so much and what he would tell himself if he were able to communicate with the younger version of himself. When the artist explained the song and as he was writing it, does he stay with the superficial things he’d learned or does he address the years of abuse suffered from his father as a result of alcohol abuse and having to forgive some of the things no child should witness?
I haven’t figured out how to go back and tell the younger version of myself not to do some of the things that I did. What I have figured out, and hopefully how to fix some of those mistakes, is to follow the passage mentioned above. Even before my daughter was born, I started reading to her. I read the bible to her, along with nursery rhymes. When she was born, I talked to her – forget that she likely didn’t understand a word of it – but I finally understood and took Pastor Thompson’s years of advice on speaking to your children when you are doing everything – talk to them. We are in the car together a lot, and now she’s fascinated with the street signs and the instructions behind them, so I give very detailed answers and explain all she’s asking. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments that I’d much rather the peace and quiet of not talking, but if she’s asking, I’m answering. I was reminded not so long ago that she was loaned to me for a short while. I see how quickly she’s growing – she’s 4, and already asking about when she’s 14 and she can stay home without supervision, so I know the time I have to share with her is very limited. I’ve also read enough times that these are the formative years of trust. It doesn’t matter how big or small their issue is at this age, they trust that they are able to come to you and tell you things. Don’t turn them away claiming busyness. There will be a time that they won’t come to you because they think you are too busy for them.
The bible tells us, because God knew we’d need those set of instructions: parents, talk to your children. All the time and about everything and everything Christ-like.
Dear Lord, thank you for the privilege of being a parent. Help me to look to you for instructions on how to raise her. Help me to not say I am too busy, no matter what the request is, as what I may see as inconsequential, might be earth shattering to her. Help me to see things from her perspective and to treat them with the utmost respect and concern, because I know that these are the years where trust is built or broken.