Oy! This morning I wasn’t sure what I was to share. But the thought of obedience has been on my heart recently. So, this is a repost.
The thought occurred that this morning, I needed to get out of bed, and go read my bible. It’s a Sunday, and still early by my standards. But I still didn’t know what to share after opening to the pages. I’m in Psalms 105, which I’ve read these surrounding chapters a few times this week. But I still have nothing to share based on that. Those psalms talk about praising.
I decided to look back at a few of my posts from the earlier days. A word jumped out at me. Obedience. Oy! This week I sensed that God has been telling me to be obedient. But obedient to doing what? One day I felt like I was being told that I need to go outside. It felt kinda weird. It was a few minutes before 12, and while we don’t have a set lunch time, my colleagues usually make fun of each other (including me) for going out before noon. But I had the urge to go. Even knowing that I was going to be made fun of, I went outside. I was headed for my usual lunch spot – and decided against it. I went somewhere else. And ended up with what I felt was a very unsatisfying lunch. Lord? Not sure what I’m supposed to be doing here. But I didn’t get any further pearls of wisdom, nor did I feel like I got what I needed to obey.
What got my attention, was yesterday after church. Normally (and I look forward to this), on my drive home from church, within a few minutes of getting home, my daughter would fall asleep, and would stay asleep for a few hours. Yesterday, she didn’t. We went in and I told her that she had to take a nap. She didn’t fight, and we went and laid down together. Out of nowhere, she says to me ‘mommy, you are not being obedient to Jesus.’ WHAT? Imagine hearing that from your 4 year old. Most of my conversations are via text – so she would never know that I was having an obedience issue, and I don’t think I told anyone – not by conversation or text. I laid there almost in stunned silence. I asked her what was I not obeying. And she said ‘I dunno’. Ok. I start texting my girlfriend – because I’m just in shock. Within a few minutes, she asks me another question, of whether I was doing something. It’s something that’s been on my heart to do, I only confirmed recently that I was going to do it, but I had also decided that I was going to wait. What? At that time, the tears started flowing. There’s no way she would have known that I had made that decision, moreover to be asking me about it. I promised her that I would get started the next day.
What are you disobeying God about? God can and will use any means to get your attention. He used a four year old to get mine.
Lord, thank you for your leading. Sometimes, while our intentions are good and we want to serve You, we don’t know that we are being disobedient. I ask that in those times, You do what you see fit to get our attention. Thank you for using a child – so I know that it was only You who could have placed those words in her mouth.